Now, everyone needs to make up their own minds about this and I’m not suggesting you give up all the old favourite  re-runs this holiday time but I would suggest that you avoid the inevitable Review of the Year shows.  Or if you do watch them, then just make a note of how many of the news stories they show are positive and speak about the indomitable human spirit. My guess is that these stories will be in the minority. Be aware that this negativity is filtering through to us all the time and it doesn’t help our lives at all. The positives are all around us if we only look and by giving them our attention we have a better chance of feeling good and creating a better 2012 for ourselves.

I want you to be the best prepared ever to enter the New Year with a bang!  The way we think and feel about our lives influence how our lives unfold. So don’t go into the New Year with images of past disasters in your head, unless you want to be seeing them again in 2012! Even if your family insists on such viewing and you have to sit there with them, you at least can have another picture playing on the screen of your mind.

Here are some new ways to handle the holiday period:

• Enjoy your food -we’re often over loading our plates at this time of year. Make sure you really enjoy what you eat
• Whatever you are doing this holiday, appreciate the positive in your situation and leave the ‘bad’ side of things outside the door
• Be a witness to the festivities – really be aware what makes you happy and when you get frustrated. Decide to replicate the happy times in 2012 and to handle the frustrating ones differently in the New Year.

I know that being a Brit influenced my reticence to speak about myself and that this norm doesn’t exist in other cultures. I suppose that meant I was suspicious of people’s motives when they wanted to ‘let it all hang out’. But having gone through the process not only working on my own story but with 24 other amazing women entrepreneur/authors, I am convinced of the power contained within a well told, relevant story which has a clear and positive purpose. It isn’t simply an ego trip.

Whilst there may have been additional objectives, the primary motive of all the “Turning Points” authors was a desire to share their stories in the knowledge that they might help others going through tough times of their own; the stories show our determination and our courage but above all how human we are and readers can identify with that. I’m a coach and work with women who are at Turning Points in their own lives and some of them now choose to work with me because they have some idea of what I’ve gone through. They resonate with the path I took and my philosophy of ‘never give up’ as this is what they are seeking for themselves.

We like to hear stories from real people about real situations (isn’t that why reality TV is so popular?). I used to keep my story hidden from most people, after all my disability doesn’t affect my ability as a coach but I can see now that in the sharing of our journey, we can aid others on theirs and we don’t have to descend into complete self-exposure in order to do so.

Long may we continue writing the stories of our lives and inspiring others.

kate@movingforwardyourway.com www.movingforwardyourway.com

If you are interested in “Turning Points” you can order by clicking below or visit www.theturningpointsbook.com

One of the delights of editing “Turning Points; 25 inspiring stories from women entrepreneurs who have turned their careers and their lives around” is that I got to know an amazing group of 24 women around the world who were my fellow authors. One of these is Louise Wiles who, like me, is an expat but unlike me has not only established a successful coaching business but has done this whilst nurturing husband and small children and moving the family around!

Louise needs your help to complete her survey into Career Options and the Expatriate Accompanying Partner.

Career Options and the Expatriate Accompanying Partner

When I left university and started to build a career I never imagined that there would be a time when I would not be working in my chosen career.

I envisaged marriage and children but not that I would be a full-time Mum. I always expected to combine the two; after all I was twenty in the 1980’s, living in the UK, working in the City, we believed we could have it all!

But then life is full of surprises and ten years on there I was; home, a full-time Mum to my two daughters. What was even more surprising though was the fact that it wasn’t the arrival of our children that led me to stop working the first time. It was my choice to leave my career pre-children to support my husband as he pursued his career abroad.

During that time I did work and study but I never quite achieved that independent career status of my twenties. I had never envisaged the extra complication that regular relocation can bring to the career options of the accompanying partner.

Today I am building my business whilst living abroad with a husband who travels and two young children. Now, ironically I am trying to ‘have it all’ by developing my business around a flexible business model so enabling me to be around for my children and compensate for my husband’ frequent work initiated absence. Some days I feel as though I am getting there, other days when the washing is piling up, my computer has crashed, a client is calling and a child is sick and there’s a flood in the kitchen, I wonder – is it possible to have it all?

I have waited many years to re-start my career. For my personal sense of identity and self-esteem I know I need to work, so although I sometimes think how much easier life would be without my business, I know that I cannot allow myself to throw away what I have now started.

Relocation and career for the accompanying partner can be tricky and emotive issues. According to the Permits Foundation Report in 2008, 89% of expatriate male partners and 73% of expatriate female partners do want to work whilst abroad. However, only 35% in total reported that they were working in their host location whilst 90% had been working prior to relocating abroad.

This scenario fascinates me (Louise, Success Abroad Coaching) and my colleague, Evelyn (The Smart Expat). Whilst we understand that the availability of work permits and the recognition of qualifications can be obstacles to working abroad for some accompanying partners, we would like to understand the other factors that they take into account when making career decisions abroad.

In order to understand these career related issues of the accompanying partner better, we have designed a survey, Career Choices and the Accompanying Partner. The survey explores the choices that accompanying partners make regarding whether or not they work as well as delving deeper into the reasoning behind the choices that each individual makes. Finally it will consider whether or not there is a connection between career choices and overall satisfaction with life.

We believe that understanding about these choices will help accompanying partners with their decision making in relation to international assignments. It will also help organisations to more effectively direct the resources that they assign to supporting accompanying partners.

If you are a working or non-working accompanying partner currently living abroad then we would greatly appreciate your help in completing the survey.

You can access it by going to this link. It is anonymous and takes only 15 minutes to complete. We will happily send the summary results of the survey to you. All you need to do is click done on the last page of the survey and leave your name and email address. As a sign of our appreciation we will enter your details into a free prize draw with some great coaching packages and books as prizes.

If you are able to forward this article and link on to other accompanying partners we would be very grateful. The greater the number of participants the more reliable, representative and therefore useful the results will be.

Thank you, your help is much appreciated.

If you would like to contact either Louise or Evelyn, they can be reached by email:

Louise@SuccessAbroadCoaching.com

Evelyn@TheSmartExpat.com

Get your copy of #1 Amazon Best Seller  ”Turning Points; 25 inspiring stories from women entrepreneurs who turned their careers and their lives around” by clicking:

UK http://amzn.to/tCHgT0

US http://amzn.to/ugUvg2

I am sure you have examples from your own lives when you’ve asked for help and received it, so we have the proof that it works. Then why do some of us find it so difficult?  Do we think that if we accept help we will be beholden to that person? That they will want something in return? Do we have a martyr syndrome that kicks in at certain times, especially home situations? Do we think that we will struggle on, saying nothing so that eventually someone will notice us and offer to help? I really believe it’s much more difficult for women because we’ve been brought up to have to battle for many of things we have and to admit we need help is an admission of weakness; although things have changed over the years, women still have to prove themselves more than men in the business arena and in  the board room.

In our businesses and in our careers we need help; some of it we may pay for but a lot of it is free.  We might not have the capital to invest in starting or developing a business so we could go and ask the bank for a loan –this is a form of help but one that most women entrepreneurs do not even consider in the early stages of their business (most men wouldn’t hesitate to borrow for this purpose!).  We might need help to find another job but feel diffident about approaching past colleagues and acquaintances for possible contacts and advice –why is this?? It frustrates me as a coach to see talented, intelligent women putting the blocks on their success because they do not want to ask for help, or don’t even consider doing so. So let’s make the commitment TODAY to seek support and assistance wherever and whenever we need it.

REMEMBER : most people want to help and would be delighted to do so if they were asked. So go ahead and ask them and give them the opportunity to help you – it’s a gift for them!

Where can you get help?

There are loads of places where help can be available; here are just some of them. What can you add to the list?

• Friends
• Family
• Colleagues
• Competitors
• Clients
• Bosses
• Mentors
• Coaches
• Acquaintances
• Neighbours
• Networks

Action steps

1 Do a bit of a personal audit first to discover where you get blocked by asking yourself :

• In what areas do I find it easy to ask for help?
• In what areas do I find it difficult? Why?
• If I don’t ask for help, what are the consequences for me as I move forward?
• What’s one thing that I could use some help with right now?
• How will I get it?

2 Make a list of potential sources of help. Think broadly – you could start with the list above if that helps but expand it and put actual names against the category.

3 Be clear about what you need and when you ask for it, don’t beat about the bush.

4 Ask expecting to receive. Get in the right mind set and intend to find the help you need. This may come from an unexpected source so be open to that.

Get your copy of #1 Amazon Best Seller  ”Turning Points; 25 inspiring stories from women entrepreneurs who turned their careers and their lives around” by clicking:

UK http://amzn.to/tCHgT0

US http://amzn.to/ugUvg2

I have been working hard this week to promote the amazing stories of 25 women enetrepreneurs in the collaborative book “Turning Points”. This is a project that I started over a year ago to bring together a group of women entrepreneurs to share their stories of triumph over difficult circumstances, be they health, financial, personal, career or whatever.

The result is a NUMBER ONE BEST SELLING BOOK!

I’ll be writing about what it was like to put this incredible project together and to meet an inspiring group of women authors but in the meantime, thought I’d share this extract with you.  If you have ordered the book then you’ll find the passage below from the end of the book. If you are yet to do so, this will give you a taster and if you are simply going through a Turning Point of your own, then these thoughts are worth pondering to put things into perspective.

1 Everything happens for a reason

Even if we can’t see what it is at the time or never understand its significance. All the challenges we face and overcome prepare us for the next adventure in life and make us stronger and better equipped to deal with it. The losses, the difficulties, the failures are just steps along the pathway, and the sooner we can learn from them, the sooner we can move on.

2 The story is always about YOU

Not about other people or circumstances around you. Take ownership for your decisions, your triumphs and your disasters and keep focused on your vision. Be honest with yourself and believe in yourself. Make your development a priority and don’t be afraid to invest in training, coaches, mentors and anything else that helps you understand YOU, then share this with others.

3 Get help

Don’t think you have to do it all on your own. You need a team around you to support and help you. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and get others to do the jobs you hate so you are free to concentrate on what you love. Build a network of excellence around you and be prepared to return the favour when needed.

4 Be bold

Don’t let fear of failure stop you and stand in your way. Think, make decisions and take action based on what you feel to be right for you and not what others tell you. Come from a place of love and be grateful.

5 Remember you can create your own future

You’re already doing it so get conscious about it and create a positive future. Everything that you can envisage for yourself is possible and can come about so never abandon your dreams but turn them into reality.

If you’d like to order the #1 Best Selling Book “Turning Points”  then it is available on Amazon and other online book stores worldwide or click below.

For UK http://amzn.to/tCHgT0

For US http://amzn.to/ugUvg2 

“If you’re stuck in a rut in your life, “Turning Points” is the book to read. Women entrepreneurs talk honestly and courageously about their biggest challenges and how they overcame them and share their learning with us so we can benefit.”  Dr. Scott & Shannon Peck, co-authors of bestseller, “The Love You Deserve: A Spiritual Guide to Genuine Love,” www.ScottandShannonPeck.com

“Turning Points” is published by Jo Parfitt of Summertime Publishing

BTW: The Turning Point is literally the moment you turn your life around; when you realise your circumstances can’t get any worse and in that instant, you pivot your life about by making the decision that you will change things for the better, even though you may not know how. Or it can be a blinding flash of light when everything suddenly falls into place and you know exactly that you have to change your life.

1. Everything happens for a reason

Even if we can’t see what it is at the time or never understand its significance. All the challenges we face and overcome prepare us for the next adventure in life and make us stronger and better equipped to deal with it. The losses, the difficulties, the failures are just steps along the pathway, and the sooner we can learn from them, the sooner we can move on.

2. The story is always about YOU

Not about other people or circumstances around you. Take ownership for your decisions, your triumphs and your disasters and keep focused on your vision. Be honest with yourself and believe in yourself. Make your development a priority and don’t be afraid to invest in training, coaches, mentors and anything else that helps you understand YOU, then share this with others.

3. Get help

Don’t think you have to do it all on your own. You need a team around you to support and help you. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and get others to do the jobs you hate so you are free to concentrate on what you love. Build a network of excellence around you and be prepared to return the favour when needed.

4. Be bold

Don’t let fear of failure stop you and stand in your way. Think, make decisions and take action based on what you feel to be right for you and not what others tell you. Come from a place of love and be grateful.

5. Remember you can create your own future

You’re already doing it so get conscious about it and create a positive future. Everything that you can envisage for yourself is possible and can come about so never abandon your dreams but turn them into reality.

If you want to read more about Turning Points and share the stories of 25 incredible women entrepreneurs, visit www.theturningpointsbook.com

“Turning Points” will be launched on 1st November and is available on Amazon.

These stories read like best selling fiction, yet they are real people facing unbelievable circumstances.  These entrepreneurs have not only survived, they have risen up above their challenges like a phoenix! I found myself incredulous, and inspired by the courage and inner strength these women displayed. The resilience of the entrepreneurs featured in this book is humbling, and what’s interesting to me is they did not go it alone. They credit the support of love ones, teachers, mentors and coaches with giving them the strength and guidance to overcome their circumstances. If you are an entrepreneur, or consider yourself a “survivor” in any way, this book is for you. Prepare to be lifted up! ”

Holli Thompson, health and nutrition coach, author and broadcaster www.NutritionalStyle.com 

How to turn your life around

Do you ever feel like giving up? That it is all too difficult and you can’t go on? That it would just be easier to sit back and do nothing?

We’ve all felt like that at one time or another and I’ve been reflecting on it a lot recently as I’ve been editing a book on the topic.  My message is that we can’t allow ourselves to flounder; the world needs us too much.

What is a Turning Point?

The Turning Point is literally the moment you turn your life around; when you realise your circumstances can’t get any worse and in that instant, you pivot your life about by making the decision that you will change things for the better, even though you may not know how. Or it can be a blinding flash of light when everything suddenly falls into place and you know exactly that you have to change your life.

Turning Points are essential.

 They may be uncomfortable but we need them to propel us forwards, to change the course of our lives and our careers so we can do bigger and better things.  How many times have you looked back on an event which was painful, unbearable, or simply totally unexpected at the time, to realise that it was that very event that pushed you on to achieve the success you have had?

Turning Points are fantastic learning opportunities  but we get blocked by a combination of factors including:
 

Fear

We may dress it up in all sorts of other words like ‘uncertainty’, ‘nervousness’, ‘reluctance’ and so on, and many of us are scared of change and the unknown.  But we have to find a way through our fears and our anxieties and use them as a trampoline to the next step.

Lack of confidence

We all experience confidence issues every now and again, moments when we doubt a new project or take a deep breath before plunging into a risk. But as women, we share a tendency to be extremely good at being hard on ourselves and very good at knocking our own confidence from the inside as we criticise and put ourselves down!    Our lack of confidence and lack of self belief means we prevent ourselves achieving all we are capable of.

Lack of knowledge

We put emotional blocks in our way and allow them to stop us moving forward. But sometimes the practical tools we need may also be missing.  We may have ideas of what we could do, but don’t know how to start so we need to find out.

How can we make the most of our Turning Points?

 Given that these Turning Points are so influential in the total story of our lives, we need the keys to make the most of the experiences, preferably as they are happening, rather than after the event as we all write about in this book.

Three keys to making the most of your Turning Point

1)         Know yourself

 The more you know and understand yourself and what ‘makes you tick’, the better able you are to ride the difficult and challenging times and see them as learning experiences rather than blocks.

2)         Get support

It’s tough to go through this on your own. Even if you have close family and friends around you, it isn’t always possible or appropriate to discuss your own ‘dark night of the soul’ with them or just to chew over your ideas. And, at that bleakest of moments, our own vision is clouded and blurred and it’s hard to see our own way through.
 

3)         Amass knowledge

 To make that next step forwards, you may need to do research, learn new skills, teach yourself something, ask questions of others. If you are prepared to invest in yourself and your learning, then amazing vistas open up.

If you want more help with your Turning Points, then you’ll want to get the”Turning Points” book.  25 inspiring stories from women entrepreneurs who have turned their careers and their lives around -you’ll be amazed at the help and wisdom.

This is an extract from the #1 Best Selling book “Turning Points”; this can be ordered from Amazon and other online book stores worldwide.

Click here for US  http://amzn.to/ugUvg2

Click here for UK http://amzn.to/tCHgT0

“Inspiring, motivating, empowering – need I say more! This book is a must-read for women who are ready to make the leap into something new.  Learn from the wisdom of amazing women who have made choices, overcome adversity and done things their way.” 

Karen Williams, Amazon best selling author of The Secrets of Successful Coaches   www.thesecretsofsuccessfulcoaches.com

We all have dips in our confidence every now and then, some of us feel we have no confidence to begin with. Wherever you are on the scale you can  benefit from this exercise which is to help you develop confidence and hang on to it! It won’t take you too long and even if it does, it’s worth it. Keep going until you get your list. Remember this is the Truth about YOU, so you are not making it up or bragging!

Here’s the great exercise I’ve been using with clients for over 25 years!

Make a list of (at least) ten positive qualities you possess, the aspects of yourself that you are most proud of. I’m talking about qualities not skills or experiences, so if you want to write ‘I am a good friend’ , stop and analyse what qualities you display when you are being a good friend (probably things like empathetic, supportive etc).

So your qualities could be things like integrity, responsiveness, flexibility, fun, disciplined, courteous, respectful, consciencious ….whatever you come up with needs to be positive of course!! Don’t think you have to show these qualities 100% of the time either – just put them down even if it’s only 50% of the time.

Now read through the list OUT LOUD saying “I am …..” adding each of the qualities at a time and see how you feel (you might like to do this when you are alone!). Keep going through the list until you really begin to feel that you possess that quality and are proud of it.
How are your confidence levels now? They should be shooting up!!

Keep the list somewhere safe and add to it when you are feeling good about yourself. Take it out and look at it when you are preparing for a job interview, or a new situations, or at any time you are experiencing a dip in your confidence – this will give you a boost!

AND MORE…

join my confidence building programme which combines one-to-one private coaching sessions to provide personal support from me with online exercises you can do when you have time. The details are on this page www.katecobb.com

If you want to clean up your communication so you get results and have other people respect you in the process and all for £197 for a six-week programme, then go and sign up at www.katecobb.com Places are limited!!

Good luck!

Kate

kate@movingforwardyourway.com

As women, we are extremely good at being hard on ourselves and very good at knocking our own confidence from inside! If you are allowing the negative gremlins in your head to dominate your thinking, you are not on the way to having the life you want (and deserve).

I believe we really need to get this issue of confidence sorted out once and for all, so we can stop preventing ourselves achieving all we are capable of. We miss out on so much because we don’t feel confident enough to put ourselves forward for promotion or apply for a better job, or we don’t believe that we could start and make a success of our own business so we don’t even try. This is becoming a bit of a hobby horse for me as I’m frustrated at seeing highly intelligent, capable women holding themselves back because they lack self belief!

Can we do something about this? Yes, we certainly CAN! It is true that some people have more confidence than others (or at least appear to have). But we can all learn tactics and techniques which will raise and grow our existing self confidence and as we expand this level of confidence, we will attempt more and more things in which we will succeed, which will, in turn, develop our confidence and so on – it is like a glorious spiral upwards!!

ABC of Confidence

Here’s an exercise you can do right away!

A= Analyse your confidence skills. Get really clear about what skills you use in those situations when you already feel confident (think hard and find some as they are there – of course you are already confident in some situations). If you can be confident in some situations you can transfer these skills over to the situations you find more uncomfortable.

B = Be aware of how you feel and how you behave in all situations. Awareness is the key to change and without it you cannot unlock the door to your confident future, a future where you’ll be achieving what you want and letting your light shine into the world!

C = Challenge yourself to go into ‘new’ situations. Make a decision to go to that networking meeting, or that party or apply for that job even if it’s uncomfortable. If we don’t take the risk we are missing out on so many new opportunities in life and business.

Take the time to write down your ABC and then make specific action plans to make some changes!

And if you’d like to do more, then join my confidence building programme which combines one-to-one pivate coaching from me with online exercises you can do when you have time.

If you want to increase your confidence, clean up your communication so you get results and have other people respect you in the process and all for £197 for a six-week programme, then go and sign up at www.katecobb.com Places are limited!!

The details are on this page www.katecobb.com

Good luck!

Kate

kate@movingforwardyourway.com

This first one is about 15 minutes and run through some important scene setting.

 

Don’t forget to sign up for my webinars June 7 & 14 when I’ll go through some dynamic NEW insights into the issue of confidence and why it’s so important for women at this time!

Places limited so book here for a place “Get Confident, Get Going or How to Take Tactical Steps To Build Confidence” https://www3.gotomeeting.com/register/855277462